Even darkness is light to You - from Psalm 139

Woke up this morning! Yay God for a new day and another chance at life - to live and to love and to walk in the measure of Your grace and new mercies for each day. Quite earlier than I thought I’d get up since I did sleep a little after midnight. 4:36 a.m. was the time I saw when I looked at the time on the mobile phone. Wide awake I might add.

The first thoughts once the juices of my little head started going was the things I had to do today. E-mail Uncle Paul all the work that Sandra and I have been working on the past 2 days, pack, clean the room I’m in at the Antipolo Base, pay for my stay here, wash this hair I’ve been wanting to wash two days ago from the time it was treated. I was told don’t wash your hair for two days. How difficult that was being hot and sweaty and after awhile I didn’t just feel dirty my hair looked like it needed a wash.

Then, came a quiet whisper...a thought so gently came “lay it all side” and I stopped and did just that. With a simple, "Father, I lay it all aside and ask you to be Lord of my life today, be Lord of this day and all that comes my way. I don’t think I’m up at this hour for no reason wide awake…what do you want me to pray? Who? What do You want to say? Speak for Your servant is listening." Then I began asking for forgiveness for not spending time with him, sitting and reading his word, etc. Then i felt such peace as the words I got before coming here rang in my ears…"I can fill outside of those times - the times you and I sit in a room, quietly without anyone there with your bible. Ask Me to fill you even when we’re not alone. We can have our times in the quiet and the noise." So, I quieted myself for a little while and asked Him to meet me and fill me. So I practiced what was not the norm for me after realizing I don’t have to live in the boxes that I’ve been living in or the boxes I’ve put myself and God in so as I was in the middle of these thoughts, I had the freedom to think about washing my hair and got up and began getting ready to go and wash my hair. As I was doing that…I so wanted to turn on the light to get all my face wash, shampoo and conditioner and towel out. Although I am in a room by myself, I am in a room next to three other rooms where if I turn on my light. The light from my room will also shine into the two other rooms because there is about a two feet opening from the ceiling. I didn’t want to do that while it was still dark…then when I got to thinking about how dark it was, i thought of last night and fighting fear that i felt and how it took awhile for me to sleep last night asking Him to fill me with His peace…a familiar still small voice…sweet, peaceful, loving, quiet whisper in my head resounded the words... “Even darkness is light to You”

Darkness – it wasn’t just a room empty of light or times of despair or trials or living in sin that’s hidden or in wide exposure… at that very moment darkness for me was the"fear," “unknowns,” “times of uncertainty,” “times when I don’t know what to do,” “I cannot see what’s ahead or how things are going to look or end up,” “times of risks where there is a 50/50 chance of success or failure. The revelation, the light, the precious morsel of truth I got from the very heart of my Daddy – “In the times you do not see, or do not know, or cannot even fanthom what’s ahead - I am not only with you, I am already there and even there I AM IN CONTROL” yup…in the dark where I do not see, even stumble on myself, or bump into things and hurt myself or fall even, walk in fear and uncertainty, EVEN DARKNESS IS LIGHT TO HIM…there is nothing that is out of His sight….I have to say it again…more for me to hear and for me to know that I know that I know in both my heart and mind… my Daddy is with Me and is before me - already there and even there He is in complete control!

Father help me not forget this truth…Thank you that Your word stands forever and it does not return void. I receive Dad Your Words implanted in my heart, my soul, my mind and my spirit…that it will accomplish the purpose for which it is sent. Protect it from the birds of the air…let it go down deep…deeply rooted and grounded in Your love. Thank You Holy Spirit that as You have opened my eyes to see, ears to hear, and touched my heart to perceive let it be to those that take You at Your word. Jesus thank You for the cross. And Thank you for Your love Daddy! I love you!
In Jesus Name I pray,
AMEN